Some 3 odd weeks ago, my husband and his prodigies thought, discussing my age was apropos a discussion to be held, considering it was my Birthday month. It did not go down well with me because he kept saying Mommy will turn 40 now! My elder one thought turning 40 meant something unpleasant, seeing the frown on my face, as my husband continued to guffaw. She in fact asked me later, if there was something that I wanted to do before turning 40 that I haven’t done yet, which was making me upset! I thought it was quite a pertinent question to ask oneself even though I was not turning 40. Still two years to go! I do not have any dumb notions about aging. But it does sound zestful and optimistic to ask yourself—Things I want to do before I turn 40!
That night I went to bed trying to dig into the secrets of my heart. Such an arduous task to understand yourself! For starters one can’t lie to oneself. Two, our heart does not house half-baked desires. It wants what it wants, in completion.
I closed my eyes and asked What does my heart want? Do I have a bucket list deep within? O Dear! I am a greedy woman. I want a whale lot of things in life!!!
- I want to author a book. Technically it cannot happen right away. And who am I kidding? It’s not like a Harper Collins or a Penguin publication are down on their knees to hear a Yes! And even if I decide to self-publish, that will require some insane amount of effort from my end.
Next one please!!!
- How wonderful it would be to be comfortably seated in one of the rolling green Vineyards of Napa Valley, gulping down a gigantic glass of some fine Chardonnay! I know. I know. It is a ludicrous thing to desire during a pandemic! Nope. That’s not happening either.
Next one please!!!
- I want to get a ……. Aaaah. That sounds doable. No big deal.
The next morning, I casually announced over breakfast “I want to get a photoshoot done!”.
“A photoshoot!”, my husband looked up, stumped. He did not see this one coming.
“Uhh..Okay. But why?”, he asked curiously.
“You don’t understand. I feel I should get it done once. It is the IN THING these days. People travel to exotic locations for their Baby showers, Birthday Bash, Pre-Wedding photoshoot and what not! All I want to do is a simple photoshoot, on the terrace of our building. That’s all!”, I retorted, giving him a deathly stare. Dear husband nodded his head and gobbled everything on his plate, all in one go. Message received loud and clear!
I did try to reason it out in my head though. Maybe I was miffed by looking at the sudden deluge of reels, Facebook stories, V-logs these days. Or maybe I just wanted the spotlight on me for a few hours minus my mundane household chores. Or maybe the unending pandemic was sucking the Happy Gilmore spirit out of me. I just wanted to feel alive and beautiful, like Cinderella, even if it lasted for a couple of hours.
Whatever it was, I was totally committed to the idea of getting a professional photoshoot done.
My quest for a photographer ended no sooner than it started. My neighbor’s son interns with a professional photographer. We discussed the date and the details of the of photoshoot at length and it was all sorted.
Next on my speed dial was the girl who would decide my look. My sister, of course. I could feel her jumping off the bed as I told her my desire to play the whole dress up drama, over the phone. For the next 3 days, we were like two dogs digging a big hole on the ground. We simply dug up any and every shopping website. You name it, and we were there. O the benefits of having a sister by your side!
The only glitch in this arrangement is that our choices never converge anywhere at the start. She loves to experiment and go bold. Me? Same old. Same old. But somehow, we need each other’s nod for even the most routine purchases. Post some major fallouts, my look was finalized. She had major reservations about my ability to greasepaint myself. I assured her I would take assistance from a reputed salon.
With that, I also lifted the self- imposed moratorium on visiting a salon, almost after some 15 months. The salon owner wanted to know what salon services I would require for my upcoming booking to which I promptly replied Whatever is on the menu, babe! Bring it on. A day before the scheduled photoshoot, I let my husband take the reins of the house and I left for my much awaited make over. Several hours later, I found myself gliding past the salon, feeling like Cinderella.
Cinderella forgets her shoe in the ball, by the way. In my case, the ball did not happen only!! My face gave way to a few tender red bumps aka acne by nightfall. The monthly cycle had barged in unannounced this time! And my not so translucent skin had the most hideous of zits adorning it! No photoshoot for at least a week. My heart sank a little as I postponed the shoot.
I felt like a drudge the entire week. A day before the shoot, I decided to take matters to my hand. All the exfoliator washes and scrubs, anti-tan packs, hair, and face masks that I had been hoarding since so many months, saw the light of the day.
As luck would have it, the photographer was busy over the weekend. We had to schedule it on a weekday, much to my dismay. With two kids and a husband attending online classes and the house help going out on a holiday spree, I wasn’t particularly thrilled with what lay ahead. And I wasn’t wrong!!!
Waking up before the crack of dawn did not really help. I was running on my toes right from the time I opened my eyes. I squeezed in a 30-minute workout, freshened, and geared up for the day. Breakfast was prepared and fed. Elder one needed constant help with her crayons and worksheets, even though everything was kept within an arm’s distance. Dear husband’s demands for tea every now and then had to be dealt with a strict hand as well. And her royal highness, my younger one, had to be bribed into brushing her teeth and attending her class. Lunch was prepared. Laundry was done. Beds were made. And after that, the thought of looking like Cinderella, was unthinkable!
My shoot was scheduled for 3 pm in the afternoon. I decided to run to the salon again during my husband’s lunch break, just for another blow dry. I reached the salon huffing and puffing. I came back home huffing and puffing. Just to be clear, my blow-dried hair does not last even an hour!! How people show up on social media with that blow dried look day in and day out, is still a mystery to me.
Finally, my Cinderella moment arrived. Dear husband took over the house sharp at 3pm. I dolled up in 20 minutes flat. But by then the rain Gods had blessed us with so much rain that shooting on the terrace was out of question. We improvised my indoor space and did the shoot at home. Now I am no model. I can smile a little when I am being clicked. I smiled a bit more that day. I did not have many poses to offer. I did not have any props apart from my books and kids, so I held on to them with élan. In between, we enjoyed two lovely tea breaks courtesy dear husband. The girls were giggling and wiggling around seeing their house and their Mumma, both go topsy turvy.
We decided on doing a fun family photoshoot, as well, towards the end. Dear husband and the prodigies, though tired by the whole drama of Lights Camera Pose…agreed to join me. We changed into a more laidback attire and Lights Camera Pose…. went on for another hour.
The shoot wrapped up around 8.30pm. It went on for almost 5 hours and I realized at the end of it all that I hadn’t eaten anything solid since the morning. No sooner had my neighbor left, my husband whispered softly in my ears Khaana order kar lei? Sab thak gye. I couldn’t agree more!! I nodded in desperation.
With that, one item was ticked off my bucket list and how!!!
P.S. —-The results of the photoshoot weren’t particularly flattering. I don’t own the most fabulous skin or a bikini body. But that does not stop my heart from making frivolous wishes sometimes. I am happy I obliged it, with that screwball of a day. Clearly, I cannot do it every day.
I am happy sitting by my window, reading a book, sipping a cup of tea; I am happy strengthening my relationship with my pen; I am happy waking up to groggy kids and their cuddles; I am happy baking cakes over weekends. I am happy being surrounded by people that are willing to share the weight of my stupidest of fantasies. Mostly I am happy to realize that I ain’t no Cinderella! And I am okay with that.
PICTURE CREDITS : Wallpapers.com