Us Versus Problems

I had to write this one down. If I miss the bus tonight, like I often do, I do think I will lose the window seat and the view that comes along with it, which is available to me tonight. Before that happens, let me just get on with this one.

I have been trying to get my own blogging site up since quite a few days and the nearer I get to the date of it going live, the more I seem to procrastinate the work associated with it. It isn’t entirely my fault though. I am happy to pin the blame on the festive spirit that Rakshbandhan wrapped me in, courtesy which I went a bit OTT on the day, (even though I did not have anyone to tie rakhi to this year). Zero work done that day. To add on to it, yesterday was a close one’s birthday and true to my type, I couldn’t keep calm! Zero work done yesterday as well!

Inevitably when I woke up this morning, I found myself addled and flustered looking at my tedious to do list. And then the household chores and the kids! Well that is another galaxy of problems.

Anyways, I did what I had to, whatever I could. As the evening drew closer, I went and sat next to my elder daughter (almost 7 now), who by the way, had been grappling with her own set of problems! Online education isn’t easy, and I can vouch for that. Classes are virtual, assignments are uploaded virtually, but the homework…that has got to be real! So, If I were to give you a brief of my daughter’s problems, it would be something like this –Her school has an app-based book reading concept. Books are uploaded and kids are supposed to listen to the audio version, read and record the text and then answer a simple quiz, at the end of each book. Although my girl is good at reading and sometimes reads 4-5 e-books in a row, she had been shying away from the recent set of assignment, just like me, for a while now. How far do you think, will the apple fall from the tree? Not too far, right?

So, now I had one more person whose problems needed my attention, apart from my own miserable self. I discussed with her the issue at hand, and she broke down, almost immediately. There was a total of 5 e-books that remained untouched. The moment she saw the big heap of reading assignment, she lost her confidence. I had to pull out a lot of tricks hiding up my sleeves, to ease her out. But the books were still staring at us. So, I asked her to choose any one book (that seemed easy and fun) to start with. I would sit next to her and do my work.

She agreed and finished the book within a span of few minutes. After that, I asked her gently, “You think you can pull off one more? Then almost half our work will be done.”

Brimming with the confidence from her previous attempt, she was quick in attempting the next e -book. That got over in no time too. All this while, I was sitting quietly next to her, doing my own work. And then she suggested, “Mumma I think I should finish this third book as well. It looks a bit tough but if I finish it then only two books will remain. I can do those tomorrow.”

I was happy with her attempting the two books, considering the way it all started. Her wanting to finish three books sent me to the moon and back. I gave her a thumbs up and she held the tablet more firmly than before. But sometimes its wise to take things on their face value. She had a hunch that the book would be a bit difficult, and it was. As the listening section ended, she was again in tears.

“This is too tough Mumma! I will never be able to read this one. 16 pages and the words are so difficult! I can’t do it. Neither today, nor tomorrow!” she cried and flung herself onto the bed weeping inconsolably. Normally, I would have let it rest. If she had uttered the words, I don’t want to do it now, I would have let it go, at least for another day. The point I am trying to put across is, she wanted to solve the problem but felt that she could never do it. I thought of giving her a piece of my mind after I was done calming her senses down.

“I think you should try one last time. I am sitting with you. If you want, I will put aside my laptop and read the book along with you. In case you get stuck, I will be right beside you to help. My point is you finished 20 pages without my help. With me by your side, you think another 16 is possible?” I carefully made her an offer.

I would have not pushed her more, had she declined. But she accepted my offer.

It took her some 20 odd minutes to finish those 16 pages and the quiz that followed. I had to help her at a couple of places with the pronunciation, but she was able to complete it. That left her with only two more books to go, for which she had another day at her disposal. This whole exercise also left her a lot more confident and adequately motivated.

It is what she said to me before leaving the room, that led me into writing this blog.

“When I was trying alone, it looked very difficult. I thought I will not be able to do it. But you sat next to me, and everything became simpler. I could finish the assignment on my own. Thank you Mumma, for sitting with me. Next time I will be more regular.” she exclaimed, all pumped and stoked about her achievement.

I blew her a kiss and watched her as she went prancing around the house like a peacock.

Motherhood often offers me many a chance to learn and unlearn, every day. Take for instance tonight’s interaction with my daughter. I feel compelled to write something about PROBLEMS.

1. Problems. We have all got some. My 7-year-old, me, you, and even those, whose bling we secretly admire, each one of us is surrounded by them. I do not think there is any living being whose life is devoid of difficulties. Acceptance is key.
2. A lot of our problems are nothing but a fine concoction of our own mindset, habits, and attitude. We don’t prioritize the important things in life, turn a blind eye to the daily hard work, and let things pile up. And one fine day, we are staring at an insurmountable kind of hurdle. The good news is, our mindset, habits and attitude, everything can be changed. Taking one day at a time always helps.
3. Even the biggest battles of our lives will seem conquerable if we have the right person by our side. When I say right person, I mean someone whom you have complete faith on, someone who has immense faith in your ability to fight a good fight. Companionship matters.
4. The only way out of a problem goes through the heart of it. Our chances of winning a battle increase by 50percent just by our decision to fight the battle. But if we give up before entering the battleground, how will we ever know that we always had in us the ability to win? Nobody ever learnt swimming without jumping into the water.
5. And the last one. The most crucial one. When we first come face to face with a problem, we are bound feel threatened. The negativity around a problem makes us feel weak and lost. We might find ourselves on the verge of losing our sanity. But it is only when we dive into the center of it, to challenge it, it is then and there, that we find our true selves. We find our strongest version, during our weakest moment. 

So, let’s get on with our PROBLEMS! Shall we?

PICTURE CREDITS: PIXABAY