What is the most complicated emotion your heart has ever held? In my opinion, it is the overwhelming sentiment attached to letting go. It is when you realize you are standing at the edge of your emotional spectrum, aware that an unknown, unexplored journey needs to begin within you. You know without a doubt that you are holding on to something that needs to go. That you must open the gates of your heart and let it go, whatever it is…A person, a memory, a thing, or even a feeling. It is rattling to convince yourself that despite it being perfect, your own greater good calls for moving on.
I say this because that is exactly what I am experiencing right now.
I say this because I have arrived at my tipping point, and I am trying to embrace the feeling that it’s about time and that I need to move on. What am I talking about?
I progressed from being a blogger to a published author this year. I started working on my debut book in September 2021. And in August 2022, the book was released, finally seeing the light of day. An entire year’s hard work came to fruition on August 20th, 2022. Exactly three months ago.
Pardon me for taking a slight detour. I just feel you must know that:
- Writing a book,
- Finding joy and satisfaction in what you have written,
- And finding readers who are willing to shell out money to read what you have written, are three very different aspects of writing a book. They are like three corners of a big triangle. To be able to cover the entire perimeter and touch all three corners isn’t for the faint-hearted.
I knew this even before I had begun writing. Hence, I geared up for what is to come.
I spent the first two months marketing the book. Telling any and everyone I know that I have written a book and that it’s a good book. I spent hours every second day brainstorming with the publisher about how we can market the book. Every night I slept with a reminder that tomorrow I am going to push a little harder to increase my book’s visibility. Every morning I woke up with renewed energy and several new ideas knocking on my door. Seeking word of mouth, making reels, requesting reviews from my readers, book giveaways to giving author interviews, I think I did everything that needs to be done. Everything I could have done.
I am happy because I decided I will write a book, and I wrote one. With a lot of love in my heart, sincerity in my efforts, and faith in the energies of the universe, I gave the book an entire year. More. There has never been a moment where I have harbored negative energy for what shall become of this effort.
The point I am trying to make here is that there is only as much one can do to make something work.
Beyond a point, you cannot determine the journey ahead. You cannot do more than what has already been done. This is the point where you must understand that everything has a destiny, a divinity that will eventually shape the end.
Yes, I love it when a reviewer gives my writing a five-star. Yes, I am choked when my friends and relatives say how proud they are of my endeavor. Yes, I feel grateful to the universe that my efforts are being rewarded at least by way of love and respect, if not heaps of money. Yes, I feel elated when the Amazon ranking goes up on some days. Yes, my heart drowns in a sea of anxiety when that ranking slips to rock bottom and suddenly, I am just another writer.
So, it is time I let go of my attachment to this respect, spotlight, and desire to grab the bestseller tag. It is time to tell myself .. Whatever will be, will be.
No, I am not deserting my book. How can I? The book redefined my life. It is where a part of my soul rests. Wherever the book goes, I go along. Long after I am gone, the book shall stay. So, will I.
And yet, I must move on and let the book breathe and live a life of its own.
I read a wonderful piece of writing this morning. Quoting the excerpt here.
“Every decision that you make either moves you toward your personality, or toward your soul. Each decision that you make is an answer to the question “How do you choose to learn love?”, “How do you choose to learn authentic empowerment- through doubt and fear, or through wisdom?” “Learn! Which way do you wish to learn?”— From the book THE SEAT OF THE SOUL, Author Gary Zukov.
Why did I read it today, not months ago or months later? Because today must have been that moment in time, which has the potential of taking me closer to my purpose in life if I do what is needed from me at this moment. Which is letting go.
I have created the book. Cradled it. Basked in its glory. It’s about time I watch it traverse its own path without me handholding it.
Because there are many lessons and skills that still need to be learned, many more experiences that need to be lived, many more books that need to be read, and of course, many more stories that need to be told.
And like I said earlier, letting go isn’t the easiest emotion to handle, but if it is what is needed of you. Then do it.
Whatever will be, will be.